Read About this blog first.
It happened in high-school. That’s when I shut down part of my heart. My heart was for Jesus. My major was Creative Writing (yes, we had majors and minors at our performing arts school). My love was for Jesus. When I wrote, I wrote about Him. It was all my heart knew. It finally had a break from the pain of its younger years. It didn’t matter what we were studying. For every assignment, my subject matter was Jesus.
This is what I received from writing about the One my soul adored.
I do not post these to point fingers at my instructor. He did not cut my heart off. I cut my heart off.
It did not seem to be an issue of quality, but content. But I thought my ability to follow directions and technique was the issue at hand. Clearly it was not.
It didn’t take me long to decide I would change my major. After all, “C’s” would not get me the praise and affirmation from my grades that I normally received. And that was completely unacceptable since I had no other source of validation.
You see, I never learned that I was special apart from the things I did.
My ability to perform at school was constantly praised, but who I was at the heart level was never recognized.
I changed my major, and cut off part of my heart from living.